♥ Mikelle's Blog

2012-02-08T19:28:00.002+08:00

LOL ok, ok... I broke my promise. It's been another month. Cos I have a presentation tomorrow and I'm procrastinating now...

I can't remember what happened but I've been crying a lot. I cried to sleep, I got really mad easily, I even attempted suicide. Stuff like that.

Anyway, photosssssssh

byebye

Back to Blogging

2012-01-04T11:35:00.012+08:00

Alright tomorrow will officially be two months since I last blogged, the longest I have procrastinated since my addiction to blogging in 2007. Really lol, I hope none of my readers became disinterested and ran off someplace else :"(

To summarise what I did during the time I was away, I just dated and dated and dated - I think... That's all I remember haha.

I also went on a trip to Hong Kong, Zhuhai and Macau two weeks ago. Drank like a whole bottle of beer during every meal I had in Zhuhai 'cept for breakfast... Didn't shop enough and I was even contemplating flying back the following week. Even met a boy on the tour one year younger than me whom my family clicked naturally with, finding out later on his Facebook profile that he's from St Pats (I'm from KC, couple schools!!).

It's kinda impressive that I always meet ex- St Pats boys after graduation at the most unlikely of places. I guess it's fated that KC and St Pats people have to meet somehow LOL

NAH, BRIBE YOU WITH -hehe I mean let you see- PHOTOS SPANNING OVER THE COURSE OF THESE TWO MONTHS :)

I think you can forget any sort of memory but when you find a photo that was taken at that time, it's like a movie playback. I guess that's what they meant by a picture being worth a thousand words. Wow, cheesy.

Had my corporate photo taken:

This is me on my 18th birthday, taken by my boyfriend, who wasn't my boyfriend at that time

We were at Orchard area and couldn't decide on what to eat and then I saw this Ayam Penyet place and I was like LET'S HAVE THAT! Major regret lor, the chilli was like too spicy for me. I was fed a spoonful of rice and it had a little bit of chilli in it, then throughout the meal it felt as if everything was burning hot cos the spiciness would just stay on your tongue.

A photo of the top of my face taken by my boyfriend when I was mad at him

Seriously lol he always takes photos of me when I'm angry, not deliberately cos I'm angry but he just chooses the wrong time to do so. Or maybe I'm just always angry haha

I'm gonna post more of the photos taken during my trip why? CAUSE I CAN nah jk it was a significant part of my holidays lol

On the plane:

YUMMY SQ BREAKFAST

Winnie the Pooh Movie

Hong Kong Disneyland:

Really my dad could not look any happier

HKD100 each

BALLS!

The words read "CAST MEMBERS ONLY" so I covered the "MEMBERS ONLY" up heheh

YAY for carousels!!!

"Honey!" said Pooh.

This is how my house looks like at night

Completely candid shot

I was really enjoying myself at Space Mountain! :)

Fireworks above my house? Yeah I get those everyday

Golden Bauhinia, Hong Kong:

Boat ride, Hong Kong:

This sweet lady was the very same one who rode our boat when we visited five years ago. Just a coincidence?

Zhuhai:

Zhuhai Dihao Holiday Hotel, Zhuhai:

The hotel ceiling. RAISE THE ROOF YAWL!

Zhuhai Fisher Girl, Zhuhai:

Zhuhai Shijingshan Park, Zhuhai:

Art Restaurant, Zhuhai:

IT'S SO FLUFFY I'M GONNA DIE

Guang Dong Silk Imp & Exp Corporation Ltd.:

"Meet with care"

Grand Lisboa, Macau:

Ruins of St. Paul, Macau:

City of Dreams, Macau:

Hard Rock Hotel limousine!

In the bus, Macau:

Hong Kong:

Joyce's master is a man

Harbour Plaza 8 Degrees Hotel, Hong Kong:

Somehow blogging has totally slipped my mind but it is still a hobby, never a chore to me. I suppose I will be blogging more regularly now. Hope you enjoyed the photos and watch this space! TTFN

I'M 18!!!!!

2011-11-05T15:26:00.006+08:00

hi guise tudae i arm 18 HOORAY

Anyway yesterday was horrible. I quarreled with a friend over text (I brought up something I was unhappy with lolol), cried in the locker room in front of all my female classmates sighsigh. Then some idiot stole my clothes and I couldn't change out of my culinary uniform. Yes. My clothes. Not my phone not my wallet. But I have never worn the shirt before leh, just bought it like the day before or something. Cried again at my luck :(

Skipped the last lecture of the day to look for my missing clothes.

Weirdly enough news of my crying spread throughout the whole lecture theatre.

"Yeeching cry ah?"
"I heard from someone Yeeching cry"
"OMG is Yeeching okay????"

After the lecture ended people came looking for me to see if I was alright. It's kinda heartwarming cus they walked all the way from business school to the culinary academy, an approximate 10-minute walk.

I reminded myself that the day would only get better. And it did.

The whole time prior to yesterday I've been wondering how I should celebrate my birthday. Was probably swayed by people telling me that 18 is a special age etc etc etc. So naturally I expected something more than my previous birthdays. At least something. No way in hell was it going to be like that time when I turned 16, I stayed in school and studied because I had 2 o-level papers the next day

Hmm. WHERE? HOW? Was I going to celebrate it by clubbing? Or stick to the Singaporean trend of bbqs and chalets?

Then my parents told me 18 where got big, since when people celebrate 18 one. You want to celebrate, then celebrate 21 la, where got 18?!

So maybe hmm, keep it simple la.

Then one day we passed by a bar that we pass by often, like even since my kindergarten days, but never notice. A birthday party advertisement caught my mum's eye. So here we are.

The power of advertisement!!!

With ma kc buddies Jayne and Vanessa!!!!

Nicole :)

Gina :)

Jasmine :)

Veronica :)

Eunice :)

Big fat cake!

It's a humongous 2kg. Everyone was going, "Huh the cake so big ah?" Imagine their expression when I said that there wasn't only one cake, but TWO. My dad assumed it wouldn't be enough so he bought an identical one.

With the family :)

With my kc peeps Vanessa Jayne and Marietta!

Jasmine Nicole Eunice Veronica Gina :)

Everyone was laughing at how I blew the candles. I'd shake my head from left to right to ensure that all the flames were put out LOL

Mum

Dad

Father and Mother

Ending off with a toast! Beer is my favourite kind of alcohol. :)

Pricing was reasonable. We got to quote our budget and my dad suggested $20 per person. The manager said $20 was a good price. We'd have like six different types of food and the waitresses would even top them up and pour us drinks! Great service, great food, everything was perfect. The live band was called to sing for me and all my friends loved the ambiance!

$20 leh!! If you order catering at your own venue the pricing would still range around that price, plus you need to book a venue. This place settles the food, the music and the venue!!! And when I walked out the staff still wished me happy birthday SUPER WORTH IT OMG

Mel's Bar & Bistro
2A Kuo Chuan Avenue

As for the presents! I don't really mind not getting one but when I get one I super appreciate it. Among the gifts I got were:

1. A pair of headphones. My old ones were spoilt already so my sis got me a new pair and gave them to me a few days ago

2. A photo in a photo frame from Jayne. It's of us wearing masquerade masks after our prom :)

3. A bejewelled M-shaped keychain to commemorate my new name from Eunice and Veronica

4. 3 boxes of Merci chocolate from Jasmine

5. A Body Shop gift box from Gina. She gave it to me at school cos she forgot she was meeting me at the party again lol! Luckily it wasn't among the lost things.

6. A four leaf clover handmade keychain from my sister's friend. Just in time cos I really need the luck!

7. A lovely exotic necklace from Nicole! Squealed when I saw it haha...

8. A Marks and Spencer floral talcum powder gift set from Marietta! She did mention that she got me a gift that she wouldn't normally get. REALLY SWEET OMG HUGS HUGS HUGS HUGS

9. And a midnight birthday kiss from .......... who traveled all the way to chat with me till midnight. I'm to expect another present later lol

Alrighty heading down to town cos Vanessa wants me to collect her present for me from her!! And meeting ......... for my birthday surprise and dinner! Toodles

Daymare

2011-11-01T08:20:00.009+08:00

Today I am not in school and resting at home because of a series of unfortunate events that occurred yesterday.

Yesterday was the lousiest day ever. I'm beginning to see a pattern occurring only on Mondays. In fact I think I'm going to die on a Monday.

Firstly I failed on my grooming. The back of my head had baby hair and I only brought ONE pen instead of TWO! Like that also can minus marks, 佩服佩服.

During the break I found that my heel had broken -_- managed to secure it with masking tape and survived.

THEN came the difficult part. Remember last week when I had to carry trays and failed? Well this week was worse.

We were asked to carry plates, and if you're thinking that sounds a lot easier it's actually the next court of hell. We had to carry 1.1kg porcelain plates, 2 on each hand. And the only things you can use to secure the plates are a thumb and a pinky.

Just like that. It's NOT easy I tell you.

The rule states that you have to lock your wrist and elbow muscles and use your left hand. No securing of plates by leaning them against your body. Hold them up by putting your 3 middle fingers together and by jutting out your thumb and pinky finger. Place the plate on your 3 fingers and secure your thumb and pinky on the plate. Just the rim of it though, you don't want to leave your fingerprints on these beauties.

And if you're carrying a second plate, rest it on your pinky! That's about it.

Needless to say I was the only one who broke a plate. My batch was really supportive, but I highly doubt that if I make another mistake they'll still be this kind to me.

All that and when I got back to my locker room I realised my other heel was broken.

I didn't feel much about my failure to carry out tasks. Everything was really a blur to me, I felt nothing and I was just staring dreamily into space, until people thought I was being emo and asked if I was okay. That was when I felt like I was going to cry :(

Ahh well. When you're at your lowest point, there's no way you can get any lower but up.

I cheered myself up by thinking I should get myself a new pair of heels.

Just then as I was walking down the overhead bridge my knee collapsed and ruptured.

2011-10-25T00:49:00.004+08:00

I just had my first service boot camp training. To say it was grueling is an understatement. I somehow suspect that being a waitress isn't my call at all.

Eh but seriously. Who actually thinks waiting tables is a life purpose?

My day started with someone yelling at me:
"TSK, TSK, TSK, TSK. YOU LOOK LIKE YOU'VE BEEN ATTACKED BY DOGS"

Okay. After that we were taught about all kinds of things related to the F&B service industry. Which wasn't grueling at all, but it got boring.

Though it was already quite torturous having to stand in heels for hours on end. Not cool, and all our backs were hurting.

Then break came, and thank God for that cos it felt like I was going to cut a bitch soon. Like with a steak knife cos it's the sharpest knife used for serving. YES. I finally find the relevance of learning something.

That's when the "fun" began. By "fun", I MEAN IN QUOTATION MARKS. IT'S BOOT CAMP PEOPLE, BOOOOOOOOOT CAMP

Learning to wait tables seemed simple at first, but later as they upped the levels the weight was too much and my arm couldn't even handle holding things any longer. Worst thing was, I was the only one who couldn't survive. I tried, I did. My teammate cheered me on throughout the whole time and continuously said stuff like "YOU CAN, JUST TELL YOURSELF YOU CAN" "don't worry, I'm here for you", resulting in the whole class going AWWWW SO SWEET but I wasn't even paying attention to my surroundings, my arm just couldn't hold out!

(haha thinking back I'm always saved by the tall tanned handsome guy through trying times. lol oops)

Next activity I couldn't participate as well because you had to squat down and carry trays of quantities of building bricks in preparation for serving at banquets.

Wah I swear 4 weeks of boot camp really gonna test my limit, then after that, another 10 weeks of serving. Wish me luck people, wish me luck.

The Day I Had Yoga

2011-10-21T18:10:00.004+08:00

Early this week I tried my hand at yoga. After a deliberately elaborate break from ballet - almost 2 years now - (YES, I admit I stopped ballet on purpose because I'm scared my knee may relapse again. But think of it this way, my doctor DID mention a relapse may result in me not being able to walk again), I thought I should give yoga a chance. I've never considered yoga, or pilates for that matter, because it had a reputation for being a bit weird when I was a child, until my last ballet exam, when my ballet teacher's assistant suggested I pick one of these two activities up to strengthen my knee muscles and to stay balanced.

And now, I've been seeing all these signs.

First, I read a book. It mentioned how enjoyable yoga is and sorta piqued my curiosity lah.

Next day, my parents encountered this Indian taxi driver in Malaysia who does hatha yoga, which is a traditional Hindu type of yoga system.

On the very same day, while at home, someone had posted on the wall of my condo's Facebook group that a hatha yoga company was going to organise a trial class for interested residents the following day. So naturally I jumped to the idea!

When you get the same thing thrice, it could very well be a sign!

Class was to start at 10am and I forced myself out of bed by 9. It's very unusual for me to get up this early, cos my already 5-week holiday influenced me to sleep at unearthly hours and wake up naturally at noontime. I honestly didn't know what to wear so I just made my outfit look gym-ish...

I can't remember if this photo was taken before or after the session. But this will do.

I'm a fairly new resident to this condo and thus I had some difficulty finding the exercise room. But I was actually 10 minutes early when I reached and the earliest!

Our instructor is a native Indian lady. My other "classmates" consisted of two middle-aged woman - one Japanese and the other Singaporean with a pilates background, the Singaporean woman's husband, and an elderly man. I first got acquainted to the old man cos we were the earliest to come to class and he's really nice.

Class was interesting. I found that many of these moves and stretching exercises were familiar to me because I had done them in my ballet classes. Everything seemed relatively easy, albeit slightly uncomfortable, and for some muscles I couldn't feel the stretch at all because they had already been stretched at maximum level during my ballet days. For example, for one exercise you should feel a stretch in your ankles but my decade-long experience of toe-pointing made me immune to that sensation.

All of a sudden, my knee gave way, I yelled, fell and clutched my knee. :( The instructor came over and massaged it. Few moments later, I was back in the scene.

The class ended with a few meditation exercises and I loved them. Actually, I haven't told this to anyone but I've been meditating since sec 4, but quite irregularly, and I'm glad I have something now to reinforce it.

Despite the end of the session being a tad more painful, I thoroughly thoroughly enjoyed it. Really. No complaints until much later when my knee swelled up quite badly and I had to limp down stairs and slopes while shopping.

For a year or so I've been feeling really weak. My heart's weak, and worse, I was getting out of shape. I've been praying and asking for help that I could find some sort of exercise I would enjoy so that my metabolism and heart rate would get better. Finally it came along and I intend to take yoga classes weekly!

Okay, it sounds very much like an ad now. Zis is not an ad! :(

All that aside, my knee is healing now and right before typing this entry, I dyed my hair. Back to black. Course regulations for this coming semester. I'm gonna be a chef with a tight gelled up hair and a bun and red lipstick. Sigh....

My hair looks fine, I just need to get used to it. By the way, is this real life?

I haven't spoken to my dad all day. Things have been getting quite estranged around here. Oh well.

White skin, black hair, red lips. Call me Snow White and I might feel better. Heh.

2011-10-09T11:17:00.002+08:00

the rain falls on my windows
and a coldness runs through my soul
and the rain falls, oh the rain falls
i don't want to be alone

i wish that i could photoshop all our bad memories
cus the flashbacks, oh the flashbacks
won't leave me alone

if you come back to me, i'll be all that you need
baby come back to me
let me make up for what happened in the past

baby come back to me
i'll be everything you need
baby come back to me
boy, you're one in a million

baby come back to me
i'll be everything you need
baby come back to me
you're one in a million

lower east side of manhattan

she goes shopping for new clothes

and she buys this, and she buys that

just leave her alone

i wish that he would listen to her side of the story

it isn't that bad, it isn't that bad

and she's wiser for it now

i admit i cheated

don't know why i did it

but i do regret it

nothing i can do or say can change the past

baby come back to me
i'll be everything you need
baby come back to me
boy, you're one in a million

baby come back to me
i'll be everything you need
baby come back to me
you're one in a million

everything i ever did

heaven knows i'm sorry babe

i was too dumb to see

you were always there for me

and my curiosity got the better of me

baby take it easy on me

anything from a to z

call me what you wanna but

i open my heart to be

you are my priority

can't you see you've punished me

more than enough already

baby take it easy on me

baby come back to me
i'll be everything you need
baby come back to me
boy, you're one in a million

baby come back to me
i'll be everything you need
baby come back to me
you're one in a million

2011-10-05T18:49:00.006+08:00

I have made up my mind to move on from my previous relationship. It isn't healthy. I acknowledged it but didn't want to accept it. Yesterday I made an impulsive decision and sent him a suicidal text but he didn't reply. I knew then that it isn't worth it at all.

It just feels great having someone to wake up to in bed in the morning. Let's just take it as a transition between holding on and letting go. I'm not falling for you, cos if I do it will hurt me, I'm just learning to move on.

2011-10-02T01:11:00.002+08:00

I was an event planner.

But I can't even imagine how I should celebrate my 18th?

Delayed Photos Pt. 2

2011-09-30T12:33:00.003+08:00

On 25 August we headed to Marina Bay Sands. I had an exam the next day but if my family's happy, I'm happy.

View from Skypark. Looks somewhat like Disneyland, doncha think?

The cars looked so tiny they seemed like toy cars :D

How can this place be Singapore?!?!?! How?

Another picture of 'Disneyland'

And more...

Flyer before dark...

Here's a picture of me with my parents, grandparents and aunts sans my sister.

Another one

Picture of family sans Daddy

Another one!

This was a candid shot. I'm good ehh? *Cadbury eyebrows*

My FB profile pic since forever!!!!

A wedding shoot for a Thai couple. One of the people who helped is a shemale leh. Quite cool!

Submitted this photo for a model competition. I'm currently through to the second round :)

Weiching

Flyer after dark

I shall now end this post with an emo picture.

Buhbye!

Delayed Photos Pt. 1

2011-09-29T11:34:00.006+08:00

I haven't been blogging in awhile, well cos I keep a diary now. And some personal thoughts I just keep to myself.

Anywayz. These photos were taken on 19 August 2011, my last night at Tourism Academy @ Sentosa. We threw this Appreciation Night thing and the dress code was "Colourfully, Oversized". Whatever that meant.

With Gina. One of the two best friends I hung out with throughout the semester. My least favourite photo D:

This is Shi Jia. The first friend I took a photo with when I stepped into poly!

Neh

Gina and Terence

TAS - Evening

With Xiangyi :D

Fail shot with Terence 1.1

Fail shot with Terence 1.2

TAS - Dark

With Nicole

Nicole and Gina

I'm with Evelyn here. Forever pestering her to make meesiam for us!!! Haha class joke. She doesn't cook btw.

With Maegala <3333333

With Jocelyn <333333333 Her surname is Liew and mine is Leow. We share the same birthday. Can relate a lot to her, I think it's to do with our horoscope.

With 2 of my most beloved!

Xinying. I always see her online late late at night chionging projects, late late as in at 5am she's still online, and then attending a totally unnecessary lecture (no need to fill in notes one) at 9AM!!! At SENTOSA!!!!!!!!

Okay la, me too. Otherwise how I know she does that XD

Jocelyn-Thane-Maegala

With Fiona

Lamyan!!!!!!!

Nisa. Never gets my name right. Never gets ANYONE'S name right LOL. One day I'm Michelle then next I'm Leechy or Leeching. The last time I saw her, I became Evelyn.

With Mr Mike Yeo

Mr Lee

TAS - Pitch black

More photos up tomorrow. Or some other day.

2011-09-15T17:47:00.002+08:00

I'm sick, confined at home and so bored. So bored that I feel like working out. And that's saying something as I don't ever work out due to a weak heart.

His friend told me to stay away from her.

His other friends told me to stay away from him.

Aiya so do what?!

2011-09-14T21:59:00.001+08:00

JUST FUCK OFF AND DIE

2011-09-13T21:21:00.005+08:00

Most fucked up day ever.

Woke up at Jayne's house with a horrible cold. Then set off to meet a friend for breakfast and then by the pool he helped me to text my ex to ask him to come back.

Then after that, when I reached home, I found out my SIM card was missing. And I was panicking cos my parents would kill me and that there was no way I could find out if he texted back or not. Could it be that it was fated? That we're not meant to be? I cried and prayed and begged the heavens to have it back. Then... for some reason I found the SIM card UNDER my laptop. (?!?!?!)

Relieved, I resumed back to my daily routines and then I got a call. From my friend. He said his ex wanted to see me cos "You and me, she found out we did some things, she wants to talk to you". Freaked out. I told him that I'm sick, some other day can? "Now please? She wants to talk to you. Sorry."

Had a lot of persuading to do with my parents about leaving the house again cos I just slept over at Jayne's house and I'm going out again? I'm sick and still want to pass germs to other people? Honestly I didn't know what to say. I just told them I had a very important matter to settle and I NEEDED to see these people. I couldn't say anything more. They gave up and told me not to get back too late.

I next spent 10 minutes being such a nervous wreck. And when they arrived, it was the most sadly awkward situation ever. No one was talking, and what could I say? I'm a dian deng pao :( It looked like I was about to be confronted.

I can't help but think there were too many things happening today. I cannot handle another day like this.

And he hasn't replied the text message. I'm beginning to wonder if I made the wrong move. All this while I appeared to be happy and acted like he was completely thrown out of my life, then this text message came about me still loving him and stuff. Did I ruin it all?

2011-09-06T13:48:00.001+08:00

I think i'm ugly and nobody wants to love me, just like her i wanna be pretty, i wanna be pretty. Don't lie to my face cos I know i'm ugly.

I'm tired

2011-09-01T00:18:00.001+08:00

I'm tired of messing up

I'm tired of being the fucking substitute

I'm tired of being forgotten

I'm tired of being the other person

I'm tired of being the last person on your mind

I'm tired of being taken for granted

I'm tired of the cold

I'm tired of being me

Face of the day :D

2011-08-02T09:45:00.001+08:00

2011-07-27T14:42:00.003+08:00

I'm getting old. Simply cannot afford to sleep late anymore. By 11pm, cannot take it anymore. Fast asleep.

You're not replying my texts nor my calls. I just want to be friends, don't need to patch back. I don't know if
a. You're bearing a grudge
b. You don't know what to say
c. You're not bothered anymore or
d. You're dead.
Are you just like the other guys? The only thing I get of you are dreams.

Aiya. I'm hungry. Feel like heading to Tamp to get food + a diary, cos blogs are not personal enough. Why tamp? No idea.......

EH BTW

Attached days

Single days

Which looks healthier? :)

2011-07-23T02:05:00.005+08:00

Wow. I haven't blogged in awhile. Lots of stuff have been happening, dunno where to start

1) I'm officially SINGLE

2) My projects are 9/10 over, just 1 final major project left, and then exams.

3) I never did slash my wrist over this span of time

4) I get tired really easily nowadays, by 1 I'm already dozing off, as compared to pre-single days when I'd sleep at like 4 and wake up at 6 for school

5) MRT door closed on me, my friends managed to run in - for the first time alone in public I screamed. HAHA

6) Queued 3 hours for a haircut

7) Moved to a place with a sea view. Sweee!

2011-07-01T19:31:00.003+08:00

After months of going nowhere during brainstorming sessions, we finally came to an idea that we all agree with. My tutor loves it and says he's "totally endorsing" our idea. I owe it all to the inspiration I got from books.

This particular project has constantly been on my mind for a long while, as other groups had already come up with secure ideas, and we, we had nothing. Hence, when I'm really really stuck, I'd go to the library to look for inspiration. During this period of time I have grown to love local reads. One day I chanced upon this book and I knew this was it.

All that thinking has finally paid off. That feeling of assurance is relieving and incredible. It is so incredible I am going to put my entire heart in it, cos I know this is going to be the most difficult module yet. I love challenges. And I really hope the Sentosa board would love and approve of this idea, I might be too hopeful but it'd be great if they implement it. It would be such an honour for me. It would mark a beautiful new beginning for me. It would make my life.

But if otherwise, no regrets! Fingers crossed!

2011-06-30T19:20:00.000+08:00

Today I cried like mad. Even though it's no one's fault.

2011-06-30T03:23:00.000+08:00

The lack of sleep is making me depressed.
Very depressed.

2011-06-22T18:49:00.005+08:00

Looking back, which guy friend has truly been there for me... as a friend?

I remember clearly I was crying over some guy and confided in another. And he told me,
"You're a good girl. If I weren't attached I would have protected you"
"All you guys say the same thing, that I'm a good girl then try to have my body"
And then I burst into tears.

And then there was this very learned man. He would say stuff like "Meet me at the hotel and I'll help you with your socio homework"
I managed to get help for my socio homework without getting into a fling tho.

I have this guy friend that I had a brief romance with, and right now we still go to each other for advice. Recently he's had a relationship issue and came to me for help. I don't know about him but I actually feel more comfortable now, as compared to pre-fling.

Some people I met are still friends with me now that the feelings are gone.

So how? How do you establish a normal friendship with a straight person of the opposite gender without going into anything first?

Skin

2011-06-22T02:08:00.003+08:00

2011-06-21T13:33:00.003+08:00

2 nights ago I dreamt of a murder case at Bedok Reservoir. The next day my bf called to tell me that a dismembered body was discovered there the next morning. Yikes!

Today I have 100% clear complexion. I can just go out without fringe or makeup. No more cakey lips. It's probably the first time in history, but no one's free to go out. All my groupmates are sick, my good friends are not free... Haiya waste la waste.

2011-06-19T17:47:00.001+08:00

I don't know.

2011-06-17T23:37:00.004+08:00

I'm slashing again. It's a habit. I don't know how to stop

In primary school I was very good at crying and there came a time when my legs grew numb with cramps whenever I cried and my legs were temporarily immobile.

That was when I learnt to jab myself with my fingernails. It was such a good feeling.

In secondary school I was even better at crying. Lousy results, being isolated. I let my teachers watch me cry. It seemed at that time that they were the only ones I could trust.

Last year I let my poly classmates watch me cry and it sucks. They start bitching about you and all that. So this year, I learnt not to show my vulnerable side in front of them.

It's better to keep them ignorant rather than let them know.

Slashing is the only thing that can hold back my tears, I learnt. It's better this way.

2011-06-17T18:54:00.004+08:00

Today for lunch I ate 3 full buffet plates, 3 bowls of dessert, 1 hot dog and then I downed 2 glasses of Coca Cola and 1 cup of tea. I am going to explode any moment now.

Tonight.

2011-06-15T23:35:00.000+08:00

Red moon tonight at 3am!! Hello ECP :)

2011-06-08T01:11:00.002+08:00

My accounting test is today.

And honestly, I've been sleeping all day yesterday. But what I did was, get up multiple times, read a few lines, doze off, and continue the cycle many many times. I did manage to complete my revision like that though. O.O

After this whole ordeal I am going back to baking again. Can't wait to bake another batch of those brownies again.

2011-06-05T03:32:00.010+08:00

Weird things have been happening to me. Well, where do I start?

I saw something paranormal on Monday. It was weiiiiiiird.

I lost my voice on Sunday, and had a presentation on Tuesday. And miraculously my voice came back. In fact, it actually sounds better and more "presentable" now. It's probably because those days I didn't have a voice I began to appreciate my voice.

Something awkward happened during presentation day. My classmates were presenting and hence I communicated with my group mates through Microsoft Notepad on my laptop lest I disturb the rest. My friends said they wanted to use the webcam on my laptop. To deny them I typed:

"got alot of obscene photos
not for you to see one"

One of the groups before us didn't have a laptop so the tutor got me to lend mine to them. Little did I know I forgot to close the window... so my friend was fiddling with the minimised windows because he was looking for something. And half the class saw what I typed on the window. (The other half weren't paying attention.)

Then during the presentation, while I was presenting, I got my groupmate to show the class a website that I had designed for the project. And there she went... closes the powerpoint presentation... fiddles with the minimised windows... Notepad window pops up...

...

...This time the whole class saw and the mood in class totally switched from bored to amused. Tutor: "You have 5 minutes left." Oh shit... rushrushrushrush

Wednesday I went out with my bf and we fell asleep on the bus. Then we woke up and rushed down from the upper deck when we reached the bus stop. And then I looked down... and realised I had 2 buttons open. Got ahpek around somemore.

In a frenzy I looked up at him (bf, not the ahpek) and said,
"Ohmygosh my button is open."
"*Nod head* Ya."
*Gets down bus and quickly buttons back*
"*Point at bra area* Still got one more button."

Zzzzz strangers will think there was some hanky panky going on when we were just sleeping -_-

I was supposed to be on MC on Friday but I had a report due at 5pm. I know I could have gone to school to hand in my report at 5 but to travel all the way to Sentosa and back just to do one thing? What's the point? But it might have been a better idea, since I completed my report at 6am and had to wake up at 6.30am... Oh well. It's the weekend and it's test week. I only have tests on Wednesday and Thursday so it's the perfect time to recuperate now.

Photos from presentation day (taken from Jasmine's FB):

I don't know if I'm being petty or not... I dunno.

2011-05-29T01:44:00.008+08:00

Banned:
113.210.227.224
99.33.29.126

I decided to scream for fun despite my sore throat. And even though I took antibiotics before that my throat has worsened now due to the screaming. I have a presentation on Tuesday. Why so foolish Ching?

KC FAMILY DAY:

2011-05-28T21:56:00.001+08:00

2011-05-28T02:12:00.003+08:00

My throat hurts, I've been falling asleep too easily, I can't swallow.

Ok so I was mixed up about anniversary dates and I feel like such a fool. Sigh :(

Woke up to someone telling me his gal friend told me I badmouthed him. I never did. And... I don't even know his friend? Ok, what have I done wrong this time?

To dream that you injured or hurt your foot, signifies a lack of progress, freedom, and independence. Alternatively, the dream suggests that you have taken a step in the wrong direction. In particular, if you dream that your foot is cut by glass, then it indicates passivity.

To dream that you have a cut, suggests that you are being let down or being undermined. Alternatively, it refers to feminine sexuality and feminine attitudes toward sex. In particular, if the cuts are on your legs, then it symbolizes an imbalance. You are unable to stand up for yourself.

To dream that you are bleeding or losing blood, signifies that you are suffering from exhaustion or that you are feeling emotionally drained. It may also denote bitter confrontations between you and your friends. Your past actions has come back to haunt you. Women often dream of blood or of someone bleeding, shortly before or during their periods or while they are pregnant.

2011-05-26T04:03:00.001+08:00

Hi. To the following IP addresses:

216.24.201.123
87.117.229.100
216.24.199.197
175.144.44.8
124.82.7.129
175.144.83.211
115.134.176.196

You have been banned :)

btw yes I'm still awake. Planning to skip lecture haha. ^^

2011-05-25T07:11:00.003+08:00

Not attending school. I don't really care now. Hahahahahahhahaha

2011-05-24T01:44:00.005+08:00

Urgh it's not that I wanna delay my report. I'm feeling so stressed now I'm thinking maybe cutting my wrist will help. And I'm not emo I just need some relief...

Annoying spammers stop spamming my tagboard or I will cut you as well

2011-05-23T01:44:00.007+08:00

I've been spending my weekend being attached to the Singapore Arts Festival. It was so tiring I swear but in the end it's all worth it.

So day 1, on Sat, all I did was hand out flyers. A really sad thing to do. Cos 99% of the time you'll be rejected. Even if people approach you they'll ask you where to get to somewhere else. But believe it or not, over the course of 3 to 4 hours, I managed to meet 3 of my ex teachers in the vicinity. I didn't know so many are into the arts. Arms suan.

And yesterday, me and Gina planned to be volunteers to be ice cream girls. Easy what, you give free Haagen-Dazs ice cream people sure take one right. And it's true. In the end we gave away approximately 550 tubs of ice cream in 5 hours. The skateboard crowd kept coming back for rounds and rounds of ice cream so in the end we told them it's 1 tub per person. Oh, and we really hated the chef we worked with cos he scolded us for no reason. But he's actually really nice and was just putting on a false front. In the end he gave us leftover fries and cooked up hot dogs for the both of us ($6 each leh). Arms suan legs suan entire body suan.

But those 2 days were truly worth it because of my really supportive bf.

Saturday night he ended work about the same time as I did so he told me to rush and hop on the train so that we could board the same train. Yup so I really did rush and I even pangsehed my own group of friends who were far behind. However when I reached the destination it seemed that he was much earlier than me... with a surprise of bubble tea. He even remembered to leave out the pearls :) The truth was he had already reached and was scouting around for an open bubble tea shop, at 11pm. After finding it he tapped his card again and went back into the MRT station to wait for me. I later found out he didn't eat all day...

The following night I reached the MRT station earlier and kept insisting on waiting for him but he wouldn't let me. So I went to the bus station and waited for my bus. In the end he called me and probably being able to detect the disappointment in my voice, he said he'd find me in 5 minutes with bubble tea. And I was like, "But my last bus comes at 11.17." He did make it back however. At the exact same time as the arrival of the bus. In the end I ignored it and took another bus :) Hehe

I hope I'll be able to give as much as you'll let me take.

2011-05-21T02:46:00.002+08:00

The travel back from Sentosa is very very exhausting. Even if I haven't done much that day I'd still feel like I've done a lot of work, and then I'll go to sleep once I reach home. The difference between myself during the holidays and now is that, during the holidays I had no life and I was contactable. Now, I still have no life but I'm also out of reach, even if I'm at home cos I'm sleeping.

So this morning (20/5/2011. Cos the sky is still dark and I consider it the same day) he's working at Vivo and so we decided to travel to Vivo together and have breakfast. Rushed through Starbucks and ended up bringing part of my frappucino and bagel to class. Haha damn da dan. Late already still can stroll in with Starbucks. Lol.

Today (21/5/2011) and tomorrow I have some Singapore Arts Festival thing from 5 to 11 and I hope I'm not too tired for Monday's 9am tutorial! Sigh!

Brownie points

2011-05-17T09:45:00.002+08:00

Baked brownies 2 nights ago. I have this habit of baking late at night. It's to do with my procrastination thing. But I would never delay my baking for another day, then another day, then another day cos I would have already made plans to share it the next day.

To me, baking or cooking for others isn't really about eating, but sharing. Because I don't have much confidence in my cooking, I truly enjoy seeing the smiles on peoples' faces after taking a bite of my effort. It sort of motivates me to cook/bake for, especially for them. In fact, there was once I made Oreo truffles for Valentine's day, and I didn't even try them. I just thought of sharing all of it, and I wasn't disappointed at all. :)

I was so pleased that the brownies were really well received. Apart from some people who secretly didn't really like me, those who tasted them loved them. I didn't have enough to share in the end, cos I reserved 2 for my bf but in the end he forgot to try them so I am angry >:(

Speaking of which, yesterday we went to ECP and he wanted to go to the Jetty. It was damn far you know, from Area C to Area F :( That's another 3 letters... Halfway walking I whined (hahahhaha) aiya but we kept walking. We took 2 hours to walk from end to end leh that's like the amount of time I sleep sometimes. Ok la I should stop complaining. Cya :)

2011-05-14T01:33:00.005+08:00

This week has fled past in a blur.

For once I'm writing my reports more than a week in advance and I'm actually enjoying the process of it.

Yes, it's still stressful, my brain is about to explode, but I like this kind of stress. My modules for this semester require more creative thinking than practicality.

This semester we are to:
- create a realistic proposal of a resort while ripping off the stereotypical beach resort image
- come up with a report on how to attract more visitors to one of Singapore's major parks
- plan an event for the Sentosa Board (Yup, this one is a real project)

Stuff like that. But I'm really glad because I don't have to think so logically. No budget. No textbook answers. Just your creativity penned down into reports. The sky is the limit, as long as the idea is feasible.

This year's equivalence to economics (UGH, I never want to go through that ever again) is accounting. I really enjoy it though. I might even consider making accounting my career. But it's too early to say that.

So yup, I sorta like being in school. Obviously not as good as staying at home la, but beggars can't be choosers right? The travel there though, is horrific. I admit it now. I hate travelling to school. Every morning peak hour I'll get squashed by passengers. Lecherous eyes. Now right, when I get that look, I really just glare back. Haha!

There's gonna be one less lonely girl.

2011-05-09T01:11:00.005+08:00

Finally reapplied for my concession card, which was stolen about a year ago. It's an immediate replacement, I should have signed up ages ago!!! And I have school today. My sis doesn't and I really don't feel like going cause she can sleep in. But I can use my new concession card. Something to look forward to! Hee.

Overview of the week.

2011-05-07T22:41:00.003+08:00

This week, I:

1) Helped a stranger sell 3 Universal Studios Singapore tickets, to another stranger. And denied any form of commission too. It's the sense of achievement that counts.

2) Bumped into boyfriend on the way home.

3) Found out that someone in class shares the same birthday as me. No wonder we click so well. ;)

4) ..........................

2011-05-04T03:03:00.002+08:00

I'm still awake cos my printer hates me. It takes 10 minutes to print 1 page?!?! I NEED 7 MORE PAGES LEHHH :( and I'm waking up at 6.30 somemore. I'm going to get grinded by the crowd in the MRT again.

2011-05-02T10:04:00.005+08:00

Went exploring around Dempsey Hill with Aishah yesterday. It's a lovely place. I think I have made up my mind to celebrate my 18th there.

Later on I had dinner with D at Watercross. Had my first cocktail! Heee.

2011-04-29T01:18:00.003+08:00

Make a fist and put it in the center of the picture. It looks like the dots are moving ten times faster.

2011-04-28T19:46:00.003+08:00

Everyday I wake up with a headache and it stays all day :(

Tourism Academy @ Sentosa

2011-04-26T20:28:00.003+08:00

I kinda like school at Sentosa. I walk past the Merlion everyday, and it's sorta like I'm away from school, though I am in school. When I reach the interchange on the way home, I look at those people waiting in line to head to TP and laugh in my head. These 2 days were like a vacation. I would love to spend an entire semester here. I almost don't mind not having friends.

2011-04-25T06:43:00.002+08:00

I've been awake all night, tossing and turning like a salad. Stupid meds...

2011-04-24T21:19:00.001+08:00

I'm sick and I can't think straight :(

2011-04-23T20:07:00.003+08:00

I did a stupid thing by contacting someone from the past. I wanted to feign suicide or something to get him out of my life forever. I know I needn't do that, I could have just ignored him completely. But at 5am in the morning, my head wasn't in its usual state. At first I wanted to text 'I hate you' but I realised if I threatened him horrible things would happen. So I tried to get myself out of his life by texting him 'This is the last time you'll ever hear from me." Then felt guilty afterwards. Why would I lie like that?

A text woke me up at 6.40 and it was him. 'huh?' omggggggg. I didn't reply. Pretended I was asleep ahaha.

So in the morning, or rather, afternoon, cause I woke up at 1.30, I replied, 'Was drunk sorry'. And didn't regret lying anymore. Because why should I feel guilty for lying to a liar?

But I should never ever ever ever do something so stupid again. I'm not going to let myself have another sleepless night.

Oh by the way, I cut my hair, finally.

The hairdresser changed my hair texture and all. And it was epic, because he was so proud of it he was grinning till the end. I like it too. May not seem that different to others but it does to me. I wanted a change of style, no more lion's mane anymore, no more emo kia hair. I told him to cut it the way he wanted to. Seems like he didn't like my "bed head" hair too, because the new haircut is what I actually wanted it to be! :)

2011-04-23T03:35:00.001+08:00

I'm going to Malaysia again~ I should just register for citizenship lah.

2011-04-22T03:44:00.002+08:00

Ya I know. Look at the time. My appetite has been crazy. I decided to take a late night snack and 5 seconds later I grabbed a muesli bar and gobbled it up too.

2011-04-20T15:49:00.003+08:00

Yesterday after like 2 months or so I finally met up with my classmates again for a BBQ session. Because there's no direct bus to ECP we had to walk.... from Area E to Area C. That is like damn far lorh. I think we took like 20 minutes to reach the place.

It was a full moon last night and it was ginormous. Plus it was red and so close to the sea so we were debating if it was a moon OR a balloon. Ya that's how bo liao my classmates are. Still debated after half an hour. Obviously we also have more sensible classmates who said, "You all are still debating over whether it's a balloon? Come on, does a balloon have f***ing patterns like that?"

Still in doubt some of my classmates went over to the shore to stare at the moon. Cos how can a moon be so red and huge right. Like a pimple. Among the rest of us, someone declared that it was "Buddha's balls". (Not to be discriminative against Buddhists, the majority of us are Buddhists anyway.) Then someone went to find them at the shore and related it to them, that the round balloon thing was actually Buddha's balls. They believed it and asked, "那另外一力呢? (What about the other one?)"

But slowly the "balloon" did rise and gradually turned yellow too. It's beautiful and I think I want to be back next month to just gaze at it.

Surprisingly I don't have a hangover. I'm not too sure if I've been drunk last night, though. But I've done stupid things.

Like while walking with Nicole to look for kittens because Terence said there were 2 somewhere around, I noticed 2 leaves and REALLY thought they were the kittens. But under close inspection I realised that they were too small.

Then at home I threw up and after that I started eating again hahahaha!! I didn't eat too much at the BBQ though. It was the alcohol that made me feel full. And then I stared at the computer clock, 12.82am.

Of course doing bimbotic drunken things like that could happen to me anytime anyday. I'm home alone again so I took some leftover fried rice from the fridge and decided to improvise abit. I poured some canola oil into the pan, then I realised it might taste better with butter instead, so I added a TEENY amount of butter in. There was a bottle of dark sauce of some sort nearby and thinking it was Shaoxing wine, I decided to add that in too. After pouring in quite a generous amount, I must say, I realised it wasn't Shaoxing wine but... sesame OIL. OMGOAJGNWSUIHFDAOISJFDOSIJ!!!!!

Stay Sober Leow Yee Ching.

2011-04-19T22:53:00.002+08:00

I'm slightly tipsy now. So ya. I'm going to start blogging about today, tomorrow. Face is pink and I'm super hiccupy and I feel like throwing up. Gosh. But hi I'm back home!

2011-04-18T19:08:00.002+08:00

This was me a few weeks back. But I'm all good now.

astrologyeeching

2011-04-18T14:18:00.011+08:00

I've been thinking of dropping the idea of horoscope compatibility. I think it's stupid to let astrological claims control your love life. It means you're only limited to date like 5 or 6 signs out of a whole circle of 12. Really? From what I heard, love has no boundaries.

And besides, I don't want to believe in compatibility anymore. I believe in chemistry!

But it's a habit already. I don't mean to brag but I'm the astrology guru among my circle of friends. I usually ask new people about their birthdays and when they tell me, I instantly have an idea about them. Virgo? Clean freak, perfectionist. Gemini? Wah, talkative two-face.

Speaking of Gemini, Jayne and I were talking about our Gemini friend Yenny not being like one at all. Then out of curiosity Yenny asked if it's okay if 2 Geminis get together. And Geminis are known for being two-faced, so Jayne was like, siao, 2+2 become 4 already. You want to be with 3 people for what?! Ahahahahha

And also I'm so proud of my Scorpion roots! Cause when I tell people I'm a Scorpio they're like waseh. And come on, how many Scorpios do you actually know huh?

ANYWAY I've been up to random things again. I decided to take a series of quizzes to find out which sign I'm most like and the results are as follows:

Aries: 40%
Taurus: 40%
Gemini: 40%
Cancer: 67%
Leo: 27%
Virgo: 60%
Libra: 47%
Scorpio: 80%
Sagittarius: 40%
Capricorn: 53%
Aquarius: 80%
Pisces: 60%

Therefore I'm a Scorpio and an Aquarius, and mayyyyybe a Cancer.

Hmm, does that mean I should still believe in horoscope compatibility?

P.S - I just did a very detailed analysis on my birthdate. Turns out that based on planet alignment, I'm really Scorpio + Cancer + Aquarius!!! Oh, with quite a bit of Libra traits too. WOW!

2011-04-17T22:03:00.000+08:00

2011-04-17T16:50:00.002+08:00

So I had a very interesting talk last night. Is it better to be with someone who is telepathically connected to you, or someone who isn't? This topic was brought up because I had been saying the exact same things that the next person had wanted to say nowadays.

And while he's against it due to a bad experience in the past, I'm not entirely sure as yet because I don't think I've been with a telepathic person before.

And I don't know why I've been able to predict peoples' words these days. Perhaps I'm a bit more observant? Like there's this part of me that can link their previous sentence with their next due to their selection of words. It's cool. Let's see how this ability of mine develops :)

But what I'm really lacking of now is trust. I don't know if my intuition is based on my bad past, because I don't want to accept the new. I wonder if it's really my sixth sense or some stupid stereotypes that grew on me after all that had happened in the past.

It was painful. I think every guy will treat me this way.

Love?

2011-04-15T11:47:00.004+08:00

I've been following this couple after watching their viral video, which was shared from person to person on Facebook.

Ya watch ah. Watch first then read the rest. Cos I won't be explaining their story to you. SO WATCH AH. WATCH AH.

So after watching their video I decided to like their fanpage. And had been faithfully following it ever since. Plus what he wrote in the info column was quite tear-jerking.

"Audrey is the best woman I have ever met".

And since they even uploaded photos of them, there were some really childish and crude comments about Audrey looking like a ghost. So obviously I tried standing up against them. I said stuff like, "People can be cuter than you, jealous isit?"

Very angry k? People so in love you go and bring them down for what?

Apparently, it was their wedding this morning and they promised to stream it live. (You can watch it here.)

BUT after watching the whole thing I came to realise that it's a hoax. It's a stupid gimmick created by an insurance company. I haaaaate insurance agents even more now. Hate them, haaaaate them!!! *Uses some stupid marketing gimmick to attract insurance agents' attention then locks insurance agents in an empty deserted house and sets insurance agents on fire*

Then I decided to check back on their fanpage.

THEY ACTUALLY REMOVED ALL THEIR PHOTOS AND CHANGED THEIR INFO.

WAH. SIBEI CHEATED LOR.

So I wrote to them, giving them a piece of my mind, something that they deserve so damn much:

" -______________________________________________- "

Then they decided to defend themselves.

"Its intent is to provide followers a glimpse of the fragility of life
through the fictional love story of Mark and Audrey, where they went against all odds and fought for what they truly believe but were denied of everything by an unfortunate event.

Any similarities to actual events or people - living or dead - are purely coincidental."

"You might felt cheated but what we are doing are; trying to make people understand that life is really fragile. We are looking at a positive intention, not to cheat but to bring people together and share points and experiences. A TVC might not best show the impact of life because you knew is all acting."

"Hence, we created a fictional story to capture most attention and make them participate in this story. Each and everyone here play an important role. Be it, supporter, non-supporter or neutral party, you are part of the story."

"This story could happen in real life too. By making people believing that is real, people would show their real self and stand on their own ground. In reality, unexpected things do happen. Is a new way of story-telling."

I don't know if my blogging is free advertisement for them, and I'm sure they have such intentions to, to sort of 'hypnotise' overwhelmed parties to complain about them so that they can reach out to more insurance buyers. Eh marketing student leh me don't play play ah. **** damn pissed off.

But anyway just to make things clear, I'm not going to help them advertise. I'm asking you to boycott them. AIA ah, remember.

Do you still see them in a good light?

This is kind of sad because they actually played around with the idea of love. I wonder how many people can relate to their fictional story, only to realise they've been cheated... People feel cheated already will still buy insurance from you meh?

I'm sure because of this marketing gimmick, many "forbidden" lovers are more encouraged to keep mum about their relationship problems. Super selfish leh this company.

If I had like 20 middle fingers I would point all at once.........................

2011-04-15T01:22:00.001+08:00

My Age

2011-04-14T12:20:00.008+08:00

One of life's greatest questions is, how old do I really look?

I used to ask that around, but nowadays it seems like I don't have to because people just approach me asking for my age and when I tell them, they say I don't look it.

I don't state my birth year on my facebook page due to security reasons. And cos of that most people think I'm in my 20s already.

But I kinda like it!! For 6 and a half months I can still sneak into clubs till I'm legal. Still haven't done that though. Maybe I should accomplish it soon. Haha.

On the other hand I don't wanna age so fast :( And that brings me to another story.

It's a fact that women like to fake their age. Usually when people ask for my age, I tell them I'm 17. I don't know if I'm in denial or what because some friends scold me for being in denial. They say they tell people their age based on their birth year. So even if their birthday is in October, they say they're already 18. But why. I still want to be 17. I love being 17! When I tell people I'm 17 they give me this priceless look. It's like telling them I'm still a virgin or something. Hahahhaha.

The thing about turning 18 is, you WILL look your age. Whether you look older or younger than other people of your age, it seems acceptable to outsiders that you're 18. Any younger than that, people look at you and say, "Wow! I thought you're in your 20s!" But if you tell them you're 18, for some reason it's easier to accept that you ARE 18. It's damn weird, why are humans so psycho one.

For some reason 2 or 3 days ago people have been asking me for my age. People have started being naughty with me and are asking me about my sexual fantasies and stuff like that. Then when I reply, "What do you expect from a 17 year old?" They get quite speechless and taken aback. Hahaha... LOL.

Someone gave me something worth thinking about, "You look young but with experience. Like in your 20s." Then I tell them I'm 17. "See! I knew it." Hmm.

Btw I think I'm sorta like a mum now.

Nowadays it's my mum looking for things then the first thing I see when I step into the room is the thing that mum's looking for. So I'm her mum now?

:O

And mum's the one saying "Wtf?" now. No la she doesn't swear haha.

2011-04-13T20:32:00.002+08:00

omg so cute I wanna puuuunch its cheeks

eyes will pop out like siao

2011-04-13T01:33:00.006+08:00

I promise to:
1) Be more loving (I'll try)
2) Be less PMSy
3) Hmmmms I dunno. I just think having a list of 3 things looks nice.

Time to move on :) Thanks buddy for letting me experience love this once :)

2011-04-12T12:05:00.000+08:00

Oooh. Scorpio women tend to have relatively few but highly intense relationships. When in love with a partner she is beyond loyal, and will do anything to protect those she loves.

To dream that you commit suicide, represents your desperate desire to escape from your waking life. You may be harboring feelings of guilt that you cannot get over and thus turning the aggression on yourself. You need to start approaching problems from a different angle. Alternatively, the dream suggests that you are saying good-bye to one aspect of yourself and hello to a whole new you. It is symbolic of a personal transformation or a new stage in your life.

2011-04-11T18:37:00.002+08:00

I'm in Malaysia. The sky is gloomy. Perfect time to sleep. Why am I not at home???????

Leading the average life

2011-04-11T02:13:00.004+08:00

It's late, I should be sleeping, but I'm not. I have this annoying rash and it burst and it's bugging me with its itchiness but when I even try to touch it it hurts. How like that. I don't think I can sleep because of my rash.

K. I'm speechless now. There's only so much you can write about a rash and no I'm not going into the scientific facts. Lol why am I even blogging about something like this? Meh my life is boring.

Some people get to walk on red carpets without feeling the need to brag about it. And me? I get a rash and I feel like I ought to tell the world...

2011-04-09T23:52:00.001+08:00

I'm going to start cooking COOKING COOKING COOKING!!! I'm going to be the mini housewife in my house.

...Ok translate that to Chinese and it totally sounds wrong.

2011-04-08T11:47:00.003+08:00

Changed my look yesterday.

The best thing bout tonight's that we're not fighting

2011-04-07T23:36:00.003+08:00

Could it be that we have been this way before? I know you don't think that I am trying. I know you're wearing thin down to the core.

2011-04-07T11:41:00.002+08:00

SOME THINGS ARE TRULY BETTER LEFT UNSAID

Songs

2011-04-07T01:28:00.011+08:00

Had Pepper Lunch for dinner. I'm a happy gurl.

Spent 3 hours ranting in song lyrics - snippets of 30 song lyrics that describe my life as a whole, the happy and sad times - I was about to publish it but then I thought, don't bother.

2 nights ago I had this awful dream of being paralysed again. I was lying on my bed, and there was a birdstand that was either on my bed or slightly floating above my bed. Can't tell. It didn't seem out of the ordinary cos it was a dream.

But the bird that flew in through the window was, though it was just an average looking one. It rested on the birdstand for awhile before proceeding to the bed. For some reason in the dream I recognised it and realised that it wasn't its usual self. In fact, it didn't even descend onto the bed. It was merely hovering mid-air and its movements were sort of frozen... it seemed to struggle while flapping its wings. In my memory, it would usually be all lively and chirpy like any bird would be but this one was injured.

And then I looked over at my sister's bed and there was also another birdstand but the bird that resided there appeared very lively. I kept staring and wondered what was wrong.

That's all I can remember.

When I awoke, I was curious so I decided to look the meaning of the dream up.

This website says:
"Birds are usually considered a very good omen for the dreamer to receive and this is doubly true if the birds are brightly colored, singing, and flying about. (Was quite relieved when I read this. But...) Dead, or dying, birds foretell a period of coming disappointments and worries, while dreaming of the beak of a bird means you will soon change your place of residence. Birds eggs in a nest signifies money, but to see them broken then you will experience a loss of money. If you see birds hatching, then your success will be delayed; an empty nest warns against becoming involved in other peoples arguments."

Being unwilling to accept cruel news and sorta being in denial I decided to look up other sources. Just to give myself a sense of reassurance. But this other website says:
"To dream of dead or dying birds, indicates disappointments. You will find yourself worrying over problems that are nagging on your mind."

Why? My life is so perfect now, I said to myself. What could go wrong?

Of course I chose not to believe it. But just in case, I told myself not to do anything reckless for my own wants for the time being, lest I get disappointed.

Ching, don't go out with strangers.
Don't go on dates.
Try not to approach an ex-fling and initiate a reconciliation. (slut)
Love no one but yourself.

Too late. Even in the comfort of my own home, things have made me confused.

And I see it all now. In the dream, I recognised the bird to be previously happy. That meant the happy past. Now it brought with it a series of struggles. Disappointments.

I was trying to avoid destiny, and to think I'd still face it. To think it'd come to that.

I'm only human anyway. Fate is still fate.

Oh well. Just buy another bird la.

2011-04-06T02:36:00.004+08:00

Gonna watch a soccer match later? I know random right?

I love seeing old couples together
it makes me realize that actually someone can love you forever

Slept in the car park this morning.

2011-04-05T11:59:00.011+08:00

To have a total of 8 hours of sleep I should be awake only at 3pm. But NO I woke up 3.5h too early. Anywayz we clinched the deal. I should be happy right now but NO because it's not 3pm yet. But seriously if I wake up at 3pm it will feel like I wasted my day away. I'm just gonna stay up and be a sleepy grumpy old woman who's smiling on the outside :)))

"A woman is often measured by the things she cannot control. She is measured by the way her body curves or doesn’t curve, by where she is flat or straight or round. She is measured by 36-24-36 and inches and ages and numbers, by all the outside things that don’t ever add up to who she is on the inside. And so if a woman is to be measured, let her be measured by the things she can control, by who she is and who she is trying to become. Because as every woman knows, measurements are only statistics. and STATISTICS LIE."

- Nike Advertisement. 1991

2011-04-05T00:13:00.003+08:00

I have to wake up at 6am and I'm still awake. Going to suffer lor.

Nowadays I have this temptation to start baking because I simply have no social life. Even my online social life is inactive. I should be a lone baker and own like 10 cats that will always be there, maybe. At least being clawed at every 10 seconds is something worth blogging about. I think. Hello I think I got auntie syndrome now leh how?

I have to leave, I have to hurry and leave
Affection will turn into tears
So that I can’t see the one I left behind
I have to hurry a bit more and leave
She is crying, the love that I leave
The overwhelming sadness is flowing
It is so difficult to take a step
With her back to me
She stands, crying

Don’t ever love
Heartbreak will surely come
It hurts to even breathe
I thought that this would only hurt
As much as I loved
But I was wrong
It hurts a thousand times more

I’m afraid of living with my eyes open
Because I know I won’t see you even if I look for you
It seems better to fall asleep exhausted
After longing for you

Don’t ever love
Heartbreak will surely come
It hurts to even breathe
I thought that this would only hurt
As much as I loved
But I was wrong
It hurts a thousand times more

Just once, one more time, can’t we try it? Can’t we?
I cry out like an idiot to myself

Don’t ever love
It hurts enough to die
You will cry every day
I told myself that when love comes again
that it would be easier and that it would last
But I was wrong. Not for my love
Not for me

2011-04-04T11:23:00.001+08:00

It sure feels nice to wake up and not give a damn about anything :)

1 April

2011-04-01T23:35:00.005+08:00

I've been in a very contemplative mood today. I was thinking of what I want to be in my next life.

At first I was thinking that I didn't want to be a human anymore. I didn't want to live on earth again. Just wanna 享受 and enjoy myself in 天堂 (heaven). But that would mean I would have done many merits in this life, enough to spend forever in a better place. And at this point of time, I haven't done much to save myself.

I also don't get why people do good just to earn themselves a better afterlife, if it actually exists. It's ironic. If you decide to do good, it should be because you care about the welfare of others, so that they can live more comfortably, not because you can live more comfortably.

Anyway, just in case I'm reborn on earth again, I hope to be a man.

Being a woman is painful. Everyday because of the female nature we think of shallow things like looks. It seems like everyone is competing for skinniness. And if you're not, you're fat and jealous. Not to mention that women age faster. :'( People say that your looks are carried from the deeds of your past life. Therefore if you're jealous of skinny girls you become uglier in your next life. And if the skinny girls aren't bitchy or evil they'll be pretty in their next life. HAHA omg, I think too much.

Not only do we have to face pregnancy and motherhood, and in some point of some of our lives, prostitution (wah scary), from the beginning of time till now, we're still being discriminated. Because of our physical strength everyone thinks we're vulnerable. If a certain guy sleeps around with multiple women, there's really nothing much to say about him but if a girl sleeps around, she's labelled as a slut. SIGH.

"Girls get periods, pregnancy and pain and boys get food, football and females." To what extent do you agree with this statement? Explain. [15m]

Aiya forget it. Not like I can choose my destiny also haha!

On a lighter note, today it is April Fools' Day and sadly I did not get pranked. Neither did I prank anyone. I was stuck in Malaysia all day. Therefore I do not know anyone I can prank. I know, in Malaysia no one knows me and I can joke all I want... but I'm not that da dan. :( I wish I were!!!! Every year I spend April Fools' Day being a loner. I hear of classic jokes like the next class faking a fire alarm and the teacher laughing at their failure but that's all. I hear only I never do anything :(

The only joke I remember pulling was in sec 1 or 2 when I changed my MSN nick to "Changed my number. Nudge me for it. :)" That's all. I guess I'm just not creative enough boohoohoo :(

1 thing I dislike about 1 April is that every piece of news you encounter, you face with a sense of doubt. I didn't believe it when my friend Jacqueline told me that there's this rumour going around that our favourite band has decided to go on a world tour. Oh and GUESS WHAT, we discovered it was just a prank.

Wait ah everybody. Next year I'll make an epic comeback. :) WATCH OUT!!!

Can't believe it's April already. 2011 seems to fly.

Btw, today happens to be my dead dog's birthday. No joke.

2011-04-01T01:30:00.001+08:00

Thinking of returning to my previous blog because I feel quite lost without nearly 1000 posts. Should I? :(

26 March Photos

2011-03-30T23:24:00.004+08:00

Creds to Jayne:

Because it's my laptop

Creds to Amanda Lim

~u~

2011-03-30T10:55:00.004+08:00

Heading out to Malaysia soon. I can't open my eyes they're so small. Speaking of small eyes, I remember that night when I was crying over the phone to Jayne and I could barely talk, I was just crying. Then she told me, "Yeeching, don't cry already. You know your eyes very big right, wait they become very small how?" I was like, "Nevermind I still got enough to spare." "You still got enough to spare? Then what if become like one line how?" "Nevermind I Chinese."

Movie Date 27/3

2011-03-28T17:15:00.009+08:00

Finally had enough rest after going 2 days without sleep. Why? Yesterday morning I came back from a chalet at 8, then I thought I could sleep the rest of the day when I realised I had a birthday lunch to attend at 11.45. After that I went on a movie date because I felt like watching movie hahaha! So I skipped my sleep for that. Planned to sleep at 10pm but I came home at 11pm. Then for some reason I felt too lazy to sleep (Ya I know, like that also can) so I slept at 1. Not bad okay it's still much earlier than usual.

But I'm not here to talk about that, I'm here to talk about what happened during the movie.

My cousin Kimli had 2 coupons to watch a movie so she asked my sis and I to come along with her. I felt awake all of a sudden. Hahaha.

So yup, chose our movie, went there, realised that the offer's only exclusive to selected movies. So no choice. Since there was a queue behind us I chose...

Diary of a Wimpy Kid.

I turned to my sis and said, "Looks like the kind of movie that you would watch."
She just turned 15 but she'll forever be 8 to me. Hahahahahahhaha.

Walked past the Justin Bieber Never Say Never poster. Kimli and I exchanged glances and laughed. What. Justin Bieber funny what.

I cannot believe it. That audience was particularly high last night. Ya we're watching a kid's movie but actually I could only hear the adults laughing.

Then in the theater the Never Say Never trailer was on. Could hear kids screaming "JUSTIN BIEBER" and it sounded like the whole theater was singing along. Omg. O.M.G.

Then during the real movie, this mum behind us couldn't stop commenting about the movie. I dunno if it's the mum or her son but I'll blame the mum because her son is also her responsibility.

I mean it's okay la if you make super philosophical comments - something worth respecting. But right if you state the obvious everyone's just gonna turn back stare at you and give you the diao face. That's what I did! I'm the "everyone", that is. Not the mum.

For example, the main character, Greg, was called into the art room because his crush was supposedly waiting for him there. So he entered, and his 'crush' was in there, painting with her back facing him. He kept calling her name but she didn't answer. The woman behind us repeatedly said, "Fake. Fake one. F-A-K-E, fake." So enlightened!!!!
We don't need to read the book we also know.

Apart from that, the audience was very very enthu. It's like all of a sudden the whole theater would start roaring and Kimli, Weiching and I would exchange looks and laugh at people laughing.

I could mainly hear the adults laughing because generally adults laugh louder. (Another very enlightening fact.) Especially during this scene when Greg was pranked into sitting on a candy bar inside the car and it looked like he had poop on his pants. So the dad took him out of the car and wiped Greg's pants with a lot of force and speed. And the dad's face expression was like... Also that scene was taken from the front view so it looked very sexual and sick. Obviously the kids weren't the ones who laughed the loudest...

My verdict of the movie is that the movie was okay, not too bad but not excellent either. The real entertainment came from the audience actually. Maybe the woman behind us has the potential of a narrator... who knows.

WE'RE ON LIVE BROADCAST! :)

2011-03-27T23:18:00.001+08:00

Before I get to sleep

2011-03-27T08:09:00.002+08:00

Been out all night, first at Aishah's birthday chalet and then to some stranger's place. Staying over at a stranger's place, and taking walks at 4am and playing Truth or Dare (R-rated style) with people you don't know at all... the feeling is strange. And now I'm back home so I'm gonna kun before the visitors come in.

Hey

2011-03-26T14:38:00.003+08:00

If you're reading this I didn't mean to not reply last night. Get back to me asap...

P

My all time favourite Kpop song

2011-03-26T02:13:00.001+08:00

My sister

2011-03-25T00:40:00.016+08:00

My sister got her IC yesterday. It's her birthday tomorrow and she's turning 15.

I actually forgot to get her a gift this year.

In fact, I actually forget to get her a gift every year.

Except for like two years ago, I got her a teddy bear wearing a shirt with her name on it.

That, was the only birthday gift she received from me in all 14 years of her life.

And she? She's been religiously preparing birthday gifts for me every year. Last year she hinted that she didn't get me anything and I was quite annoyed with her. Oh but she DID get me something. Oh well...

I've just realised how unfair I've been to her, and not just on birthdays.

When she was a baby, she was the unfair one. She liked hitting peoples' heads but for some reason she particularly loved hitting mine. If I'm not wrong it hurt, a lot.

Fortunately from then on, things were smooth sailing. I had close to no friends because of my autism-like problem and she was probably my only friend. We were known to our relatives as 'so good girl why you don't want to learn from them'.

I hardly upload childhood photos with her inside because HAHA I quite jealous of her cuteness. Shh...

But I made an exception.

TADAH!

A solo shot of her being cute

Things turned for the worse when I was in P3. People started being rude and I was the target of verbal bullying. I tried to get friends. But whenever I talked to them they'd attack me with, "So?" "Then?" "And then?" Tsk. Childish.

So one day I decided to let them have a taste of their own medicine. I remember very clearly the first time I did so was in the toilet. I met one of the bullies and she didn't say anything but I kept spamming her with So's and Then's. She gave me a fake smile, the hahaha-I-don't-know-what-to-say-because-I'm-obviously-at-the-lower-hand-so-I'm-just-gonna-smile-at-you smile. She was speechless. Well obviously right? She didn't even say anything before I even tackled her what hahahahha. But I tell you her expression was priceless.

SO? SO I WENT HOME AND PRACTISED IT! On my sister. She was just K2 and was clearly even more speechless. I feel very bad for her now.

Naturally from my So's and Then's I became a meanie. At times I would get violent. I remember she made me angry once and I was so furious, I did the stupidest, most impulsive thing of stepping on her foot with all of my weight. She cried. Another time, I scratched her arm with my fingernails till it bled.

In another few years she managed to catch up though and we would constantly bicker. I would be like, "Eh last time you so good girl now you so rude" because I very bu shuang (not happy) she could answer back. Then she'd reply with, "You also like that what." And that sparked off our conflicting sister-sister relationship in years to come.

But we also learnt to keep each other's secrets. No, actually she learnt to keep my secrets. She hasn't met a single guy all her life. So guaikia, complete opposite of me.
"Eh Weiching, I going out again ah. If Daddy Mummy ask say I never come back at all."
"O_O okay."

You know what annoys me about her? When my headset is on and she interrupts me to talk about... Pokemon.

Over the years I think I was the petty one. She was the one who cried too easily. I also learnt that she's super serious during ballet. Back when I was still dancing my ballet teacher reflected to me that Weiching was uber serious. "I joke with her she also never laugh. Just stare back at me. So scary."

Then I got really confused. I looked at her and went, "I more serious than her."
"Really? But at least you know how to smile."

I didn't really believe it till this year, when my parents had to be consistently in and out of Singapore and I had to fetch Weiching from ballet class. That meant I could sit in and watch her dance. I swear, even though her technique was perfect I couldn't stop laughing at her pokerface. I laugh at people's misery one la aiya.

So... ya. Made me realise that I don't really know her inside out and I should get her a gift this year. Like today, I'm gonna head out at the last minute to get her something. I'll do better next year.

I wasn't the best. I'll be the best now.

On days you feel like you're irrelevant to the world

2011-03-24T19:10:00.001+08:00